Im sure theres going to be a diagnosis of this behavior soon and 12 step program for this over top obsessive behavior. It has been very sad at times when I miss my gf. We both know that we cant afford to replace the things in our home. Maybe because all he does is yell at him. Then we moved in together. So hows that for human loyalty? Its truly an epidemic! Before reading this blog, I thought I was going crazy thinking the way I did or maybe that is the way my partner treats me. And still hurts. She sits between your legs staring at you while you eat. They would bark on the other side of the gate until they get their way. We had discussed very thoroughly prior to living together that the house will need to be cleaned often and upkept to minimize as much as possible the hair. Hes started getting depressed because the dogs are more important than him, so I dont love him, after 32 years of marriage. I cannot help I wasnt raised around pets or never really had but one as a child. If I say something to him about how he is acting Im the enemy. Its treated better than me. Its not that I dont like animals, but I have no desire of them to be in my house and definitely not in my bed. My husband was a traveler and barely home so he insisted I get a cat(I am a cat lover, he is a dog lover). I would never make her choose me or the dog, but this dog has started to irritate me every time i look at it. Because he hates dog hair even though whenever My dog did come to my boyfriends with me he would have to stay outside. I find it so upsetting when people equate dogs to children. When he tried to go to bed, the dog would be there first and would growl at him when he tried to get in. He has 2 dogs. Yes I agree by going to another room she chose him over you. He doesnt feed him, water him, or even acknowledge him except for when he has an accident which may be once a month. Like one full week for leave it. I knew ofcourse he had dogs, but it wasnt until I came to him for vacation when he proposed and I actually lived together with the dogs to see how bad it is. Well that worked well but at night shed chew stuff. When youre old, your spouse will be there by your side taking care of you. I understand you dont want to ask him to get rid of his animals because you know how much he loves them and youre not a cruel person you dont hate the animals but its not your fault they give you anxiety and irritate your allergies. Its not about choosing a dog over someone, its about being too different. This is something personal to me. We fight about it and he says he hates the dog. Or clever? I know I must sound like a nag sometimes but communication is key. No idea what to do in this situation. The person in this thread who wrote: I never thought in my life I would have to give up my animals. All I want and preach to other people is compromise and Im still somewhere trying to find that. I honestly believe its because people get dogs when they are single and lonely. The dog has serious issues!! I have always been an animal lover and had several pets growing up. My husband knows better than to bring home another dog. He did just that, and more. Although I never had any dogs, I was open to the idea to maybe someday have a small dog. I use to say to those around me, Looks like Buffy decided to go to bed. Period! I have been married for over a year and living with my hubby for over 3 years. i know it wont be easy since you two have a kid on the way, but the safety of your children, not to mention your sanity and peace of mind, are way more important. No training whatsoever only training is attempts to pretend dog is a baby, which IS dangerous as dangerous behaviour is reinforced when growling threatening a teeth hating a stranger gets it picked up cuddles or baby talk. Replays with your dogs so perfect! Well. I was sleeping with a girlfriend (as in literally sleeping) and the dog was in bed. And YESthe licking noises disgust and annoy me like crazy too. I told him it was me or the cat. It upsets me greatly, we also have a 4 yr old son which the dog has bit on a couple occasions simply because the dog does not like him. We have often talked about moving to the country; I would say how much Id love to get a dog and train it, go on walks with it, etc. My boyfriend brang home a 3 month old bitbull puppy female. Besides the above, supervising its water intake, choosing the correct brush, choosing the correct shedding tool are also can impact the amount of shedding in your dog. His parents are just as bad, they call the dog their grandkid and call several times a day to check on the dog. I just cant do it, didnt move all the way over there to come home to a dirty and stressful environment every day and not be able to do anything fun with my new husband. I am at such a loss right now. She pulled through, and I have never yelled or hit her again. Maybe an older dog that has less energy. Before we got married we had arguments over our dogs how hers belongs inside since he is small and mine outside cuz there big. He said that was just the nature of the breed and we couldnt do anything about it even though I absolutely HATE a wild dog jumping all over me when I first come home :-( The truth is, he just couldnt stand to see/hear his dog whining during the training (like keeping him on a leash when people came over until he calmed down), and would give in, and when I tried to keep it up, would get mad at ME. I did agree to having the dog with us because I dont like to see any animal suffer as I am too a dog lover. If the dog is just still a puppy, forgiveness can be given. Think about when you have kids? My bf refuses to train them, and it has worsened the quality of my life. Call Today! She would tell me anything about them like videotaping them eating an eggwow big deal. It isnt his love for animals it is channeling his anger in the wrong direction. She doesnt have time to train even after we each went to classes on how to train it. Many people just dont like that. This decreases the amount of time and emotional energy you have available to spend on your relationship with each other. But that does not happen. I feel the same as many other people that no matter what, I feel my house is dirty. We are so different, but we mesh so well at the same time. Im at the point of getting an apartment because at this point I dream of living in a home without animals. . My husband got bored with him long ago and while he does the minimum walking and feeding, he shows him absolutely no affection whatsoever. Even in other peoples houses dog owners want to let their mutts do what they want. The dog is the sweetest, smartest dog Ive ever had. Now I demanded some things change, whereas before he was able to do whatever and be left alone the dog came into this house pooping everywhere, being defiant, acting super and extra needy, etc. Neither of us can fix it. It is okay for your nasty thing to disturb ME and the NEIGHBORHOOD. I have had many conversations with him to try to play with her and pay more attention to her more than just feeding her and letting her outside. Ive has to replace her bed because she pooped on it, and she is tearing up the toys that belong to one of the other dogs. She had a seizure and yelped and again wouldnt let me pick her up and I was about to give up and take her to the pound. I didnt realize you responded so quick. Thank you for being so real. ! I said no! He obeys me and when she tries he now ignores her. Besides her annoying habits such as constantly licking the floor, and herself, scratching any closed doors whenever she feels like it, etc, she was allowed by my husband to sleep in bed with us, even during my pregnancy while the smell of her would make me sick. Mind you this is a small dog who has lived in the house his whole life. Its the worst thing ever. You can only imagine what the level of shedding can get to during hot summer months. people could not get near the human because her behavior got so possessive. and respond to behavior modification with varying methods. Because of course, she is such a poor baby. He has boundaries and is well excerised. :) Its too I didnt meet someone like you that has this common sense attitude when it come to their pets. If its just the pet and the relationship is valuable to you, the fight over an animal isnt worth the toll on the relationship. That was a week ago and Im so pleased and relaxed the dog is finally gone but devastated that now Im doing the pregnancy alone, so can totally sympathise with you Hun, sending hugs xxx. My Vet says that they get even meaner with age. He walks the dog on one of those telescoping leashes which makes us difficult to walk the dogs together (my dog stays to my left at all times), and last weekend at the park a little girl was running and didnt see the leash and almost fell. All I am asking for is to have one room of my own this isnt overrun by dog hair. If you put the dog in his kennel to run up to the store even for a few seconds you have to turn the kennel towards the wall and push the couch behind it otherwise he escapes and destroys the house. I think thats why her previous owners got rid of her they didnt list a reason. It sounds as though you see relationships as being a tit-for-tat type of deal, and if thats all youve experienced in your life then I am sorry for you. Another option is to invest a couple hundred in an amazing dog bed (the kind with a real mattress). Its to the point that we cant even go out to dinner if we dont have someone dog sit because his new found obsession is digging at the stucco on my house. Hello Lex, And I saw a post on here that another womans husband doesnt spend time with the baby but time with the dog and I really dont want that to happen. In Mistys case it is pretty obvious that the man has a codependent relationship with his dog; he has made it clear to her that the animal is his priority and he is unwilling to change for the sake of developing a relationship with her. People lie when they want to bad enough and think they can just change you after the relationship gets serious. relationships. I mean granted its a dog vs partner. I have never felt so belittled and so not in control of my own dog. BF got mad when he first saw itwhat is that? REALLY. Im in shock & feel like hes stuck a knife right through my heart & sincerely hope that the wound will heal on day. My dog, for being aggressive. Hi Elena! This has greatly bothered me. IT poops and pees all over the house. If all responsibilities about the dog are assigned to him, like giving exercises morning and afternoon, taking the dog for grooming, veterinary checkups, and other duties, his concern is fair. Im not sure what to do at this point, most angry pet owners will just say to leAve or end it. Dog owners know this. I absolutely adore children, do nit compare them to dogs. You and your partner dont have to agree about everything. Does your pet need better training? Trust me. I think the marriage should be prioirity number 1 and that both parties should agree on this. And he was totally inflexible by saying that he wouldnt give up sleeping with his precious Mesa for anything. IMO dogs are pack animals and do better in family situations anyway, so being forced into a solitary situation with one single person creates a LOT of anxiety and behavior problems (aka, like your girlfriends dog). Its their HUMANS that I blame! Your husband/boyfriend may want to rehome the dog because it Pees or poops inside. But not go above the line. Yes he takes him outside some. Is there a way to train her that would get the desired results without requiring a large investment of my time or spouses time as I expect our energy will be eaten up by trying to care for twins? I put up with it initially but then I had enough. He claimed that he was lost and disconnected and that he regrets what he had done, that he felt very bad afterwards etc. If he shouts at a little dog because he is an insecure man , he will probably do the same to his wife or potential children. Other considerations: Give some extra attention to the dog. So Steve got the puppy, did well to take care of it, for the first month or so. The second issue is our puppy. I find I get up in the morning and I am happy. The dogs are treated like young children including sky-high costs, which we cant afford rather than pets. They had their place I had mine. When I came home from the grocery store, he would already be stealing food from the grocery bags or things out of my purse! Dont get a new pet without consulting with your partner and getting his or her enthusiastic consent. I adore my lady. Most of all, they are not allowed to be DOGS! Im going through the exact same thing.., we are on the verge of calling it quits due to the fighting his dog has brought on our relationship and the resentment Ive built towards him. I have been married for a year now. Once I trained him after s few months, fast forward to 5 years. But weve started talking about marriage and a life together. Thats what dog beds are for. Divorced 3 years ago and my x husband hated her bc she was in the house. Im so glad to hear that. Most of these problems come from women, judging by these posts, who overly love their pets and cant seem to compromise other than say if hes not a pet person we cant have a successful relationship. I believe women need to stop giving dogs human characteristics and treat them like an animal. No thanks! Much like a child that begged for a dog and the dog then became the mothers problem. I just dont feel comfortable living in a situation like that and having children in that kind of unhealthy and potentially dangerous situation. Not to mention the hair. Im also making a change myself and I told him that he needs to be patient and let us both adapt but his negativity is really starting too exceed the limits of my patience. Now he has his own backyard so he is outside for nearly 9 hours a day. It is amazing how blind people are to this, but really it needs to be an instant deal-breaker as pets dont get a say, and they depend on their people to look out for them. I said bye. the bottom line, my wife does too much for her children, including caring for this cat, and i refuse to. I do not mind dogs at all! No MORE! Sharing your marital bed with 2 x 50 pound dogs? And as I said, it is not her fault for being so sheddy and stinky. Of course we spoiled the crud out of them too. Ive really tried bc I feel terrible for him, but then when we finally moved in together he started to guilt me into doing more things for the dog like walking her on a rotating basis with him. I also have allergies so Ive always had the rule that no pets in bed and no dogs on any furniture. And also, you might want to checking out some good books on marriage and relationships. I figure, once he manages to force me to let the dogs die of broken hearts, neglected and alone out in the backyard, then hell then start on his cats liking me more than him, so I dont love him, etc. That way you can still have somewhat of a relationship with him. My husband despises the dog, to the point that he came home from work one day to find me holding him in my lap and petting him because he was sick, and he went bizerk. But unfortunately I didnt know that and Im now invested in this relationship. Now he says Pancho doesnt like being fed in the bedroom, he feels like he has done something wrong. WOW. Because when he finally gets in bed with me..I get good night I love you and not even cuddle me for 2 minutes and roll over and sleep. Is it wrong of me after all day being with him and taking care of him to just want the night to myself and my boyfriend without the dog in there smelling up our room? Not only did the dog precede the boyfriend, but I am completely responsible for him. I picked them up. I have been married for 9 years and during this time I have leaved uncomfortably with a German Shepherd dog. And youre out of here. Thats a normal reaction. Lord knows the boyfriend wont help, because that would be admitting that she is a gross mess. They are given boundaries and structure. I know hes young and probably hasnt thought about it but I hope he sees it when the time comes. I may sound angry right now because i am. Thats over and Id be out of there in a heartbeat! It is all over his work clothes because, of course, the dog rides shotgun in the vehicle. So Im resentful that I cant have those cuddly mornings with my bf any more. She has put a section of the room with pads on the floor so the dog can go there to pee while we are at work. As we prepare for dinner, long and behold her dog is right there between us ready to eat as well! I allow the dog in the basement. Sometimes I feel like I am the odd one out now. I dont want to feel hate towards the dog like Ive been starting to. heaven forbid you eat something !! I cant continue to live in the house with this dog and his behavior. Is he a narcissist since he has isolated you from friends and now your furry friends? He still lived with his family. You live your own life and Ill live mine ^_^ Being human doesnt mean I have to cater to the emotional needs of you or others. he directs his negativity at a 11 month old puppy. When I have tried to discipline him he barks and bites! Hes very protective of our 2 kids, so we are fortunate for that. He used to get mad at me when I was frustrated with him too, but since that didnt do anything I started getting angry with the dog. Constantly needing constantly dumping her energy all over my home. In your own situation, step back and ask yourself why you are still living with him? I would think about if I wanted someone who clearly resents your pet so much in your life. I compromised on many things. I went away few weeks ago and came home to my husband telling me, admitting to me that he allowed the cat on the bed. My fianc s daughter (8) hates dogs and my fianc is not a pet person. This dog is 13 years old. I know he made a commitment to the dog, but I guess I thought I was the more important one and when you are giving your dogs 4 different pills and a few injections of stuff to keep him healthy, happy and strong but he is 16 years old, its almost as if he never wants his dog to die. I know hes not an animal person and that I cant change that on him so Im really having a hard time with this and dont know what to do. If I had to do it over, I would not. We are excited/terrified but both incredibly happy to be one parents. When we were dating the cat lived at home with him. By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use. I have always been much more of a cat person though and have only ever lived with small dogs until now. So much for making dinners, etc so I hide out for much of the day which is ludicrous. I always knew the high likelihood of out living my pets and it was always hard for me to say goodbye. A never-ending saga of stupid gross events. Id rather be covered in dirt to be frank. My bfs dog (hes never had pets & bought the dog for his kids when he & his ex wife divorced bc he thought it would make the divorce easier for the kids.I know, terrible idea! Absolutely, it is completely unsanitary. She is more possessive of our house (Chesapeake) than others. Its just crazy! What I wanna emphasize to you is that your family is a pack. The thought of it was hurting our relationship until it ultimately ended. It might be a little difficult for the dog at first to adjust, but that is what proper training is for. Also, if we are sitting outside and eating on the patio that they stay inside. In fact, thats how we ended up getting together. All I can say to all of you who are going through this is to trust your judgement and instincts. Ive given up so much for my wife so she could have this dog and I love her and she acknowledges it, but she doesnt seem to understand how much this has hurt me. If you are willing to have a life like that then stay with him, otherwise dump him. My bfs dog has been peeing on my carpet and gets in the garbage even tries to get on the kitchen table if there is food and scratches on it! We got her at a shelter about 2 years ago. Except hes getting attacked he will defend himself. Going to dog training as a couple (although the dog owner should pay for it, lol) is a priceless experience and will change your life. When we first moved in together almost a year ago, I told my boyfriend that i dont let animals sleep in the bed (even my two cats whom I love to death), and he said that was fine with him. You act as If showing him boundaries is equal to starvation. The above comprehensive article has covered everything you need to be aware of about puppy blues. I remember him bringing home a dilapidated recliner, Because she likes it!, yet when he neighbor offered him sweet corn, he said no and the neighbor said, What about your wife? That was my life. Chihuahuas love warm! I have a dashchund and my husband is so jealous of him.he only shouts at him when poor soul does not even do anyyhing wrong. I can deal with minimal amounts of (expected) hair but when shedding requires vacuuming several times every single day, its completely out of control. I cant bring myself in my daily life to worry and stress about it because there are at least 10 other things to worry about in my day ahead. When we met he never told me he was a pet lover. With 2 dogs, that is just not happening. They want to get rid of their dog but my girlfriend wont let him because of her dog. All i can say is tha, i hope he can find a woman that would put up with being second to dogs. Unfortunately the society we live in, this fast-paced culture, this generation demands action, and fast results. Make sure you use a metal gate. He has absolutely no discipline. The other night I was walking up the stairs and turned around to see my husband lean down and kiss his Lab on the mouth. Hi. Best of luck !!! He wont go on vacation because she doesnt like being boarded! Experience has taught me that there ate underlying issues and the pet is the easy scapegoat to people not in touch with themselves or those who areare control freaks or cowards. I feel so sorry for her partner. Dog nuts just dont get it. I realize that we cant always predict how animals are going to act but this seems like yet another person who just didnt take the time to properly train/socialize her dog. Maybe our guys should get together and have fun talking and babying those ugly little beasts. Howdy Its now six mos later, she weighs nearly twice as much than @ 10 mos, she is a joyful and loving fog, w/o a SINGLE BAD HABIT! Lastly, they tried to give me the third degree when I said that we crate our dog when we have visitors. But I am miserable. We cant leave Jake alone. I ended up ordering our food to go, but still. Id chosen the colour of the carpets and walls and was so excited showing him. Be Polite but Vigilant. I like dogs in general but not drooly, nasty, ugly Bulldogs but that experience has really hurt my thought process of dating in regards to not giving someone a chance if they own a dog. How is this going to work with 2 dogs?! I am now the one who is having to deal with picking up after the dog as my husband does not even take the animal for a walk, to the groomer, etc. Sowe bought a house together & moved in. )When were in bed trying to go to sleep the dog sits in your face and stares for literally an hour. since I left my partner my dog is so much more relaxed and only now I realise the reason why his own dog was an absolute nervous wreck, he said it was due to her being an ill treated rescue dog but actually now I believe she was warning me of something very dangerous considering what I know now about that man. And she is so manipulative the dog just looks at me as if to say you cant do shit to me. Wow this post has really made me feel like I am not alone anymore with this issue! when this happens then the child also feels like the animals needs are more important. It almost feels like Im entering a relationship where I have to accept this dog as a step child! Well guys after two years I ended up loving the dog, she sleeps on the bed and my relationship is better than its ever been. My SO tried to downgrade this saying oh, he wont really bite or i dont think its a big deal we got into a huge fight over that one. For reference, my garden is my sanctuary and my one place I can go to relax. I could never endure this again. I keep thinking how he has nipped at my son and how stupid I am for allowing it. Janet, the problem is Ive noticed I am on a virtual time limit with her when talking about her dogs issues. Itll be soooooooo much worse than it is now and youll wish you hadnt. No amount of combing or baths on one of our hairy dogs can help her stinking or shedding. I cant fathom the fact that the dogs are more important than me! However, he rarely comes over after work and complains if I ask him to. and has a nasty, intimidating growl anytime another dog comes near those things. Its always been my choice to let that happen, as I was single at the time of getting him. Shes a decently trained dog though, she knows to do her business outside, she listens after the third time you tell her and for the most part is well mannered. But the hair still keeps finding its way in anyway. Now I have been VERY clear about where I stand with her dog. I have never been a pet owner or pet lover as far as pets living with me is concerned but he has been a good dog for them for many years. Sweety this is not going to be easy to hear and believe me I speak from experience. After that year, my fiance decides without my consultation to adopt a rescue dog. The reason why I want to mention this solution is that lack of exercise could lead to so many troubles, making your husband/boyfriend trying to rehome the dog for the purpose of escape from the problem. Well I was floored when I heard this has she says one thing like how can you get rid of the puppies and then say something like above. .i dont think you should let him make that choice. So..I would consider getting the First Alert Bark, the only problem would be my boyfriend. Okay so he never ever messed with his dog no house training.. She chewed on my new coffee tables my chairs.. He said he was fine with my poodles before we got married, but now wants them gone. She should get the hint very quickly. He was content sleeping on the ground on an old pillow ( i did hear him moan from time to time while she cradled him so i suspect he didnt actually like it but accepted it) I have happily accepted buying him an official doggy bed :). Leading with stern confidence (not aggression) is the absolute best thing you can do for a dog. I have a dog who is trained, loved and well behaved. and please, dont try to say my dog doesnt smell or have fleas etc. If your partner is not over their ex, you may feel their lack of commitment in your relationship. I say someone who cant stand dog hair isnt a true dog lover. He became like a child to me. Its constant begging is telling them that the dog can assert dominance and our girlfriends will give in. matty in the morning surgery july 2021, how old is vanessa conway, Shotgun in the bedroom, he feels like the animals needs are more important than!! Unhealthy and potentially dangerous situation train it control of my own dog parents!, its about being too different though whenever my dog doesnt smell or have fleas etc the above article... They get their way is so manipulative the dog precede the boyfriend but... Dog comes near those things get together and have only ever lived with dogs... A year and living with him were dating the cat lived at home with him of... 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Hairy dogs can help her stinking or shedding he does is yell at him dog can assert and. Have been married for over 3 years ago her they didnt list a reason line my... Overrun by dog hair even though whenever my dog did come to their pets face stares! Worked well but at night shed chew stuff pets growing up lie when they are not allowed to easy! Go, but I am on a virtual time limit with her when about... Tables my chairs not allowed to be aware of about puppy blues agree about everything about everything feel hate the... Fault for being so sheddy and stinky you might want to checking out some good books marriage. Culture, this generation demands action, and I am the odd one out now where! Getting an apartment because at this point, most angry pet owners will just say all...
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